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If you’re a natural overthinker, talking to a new coach can seem overwhelming and daunting.
This is normal and I completely understand.
Choosing to work with someone is an investment, both personally and financially, so you’ll want to make sure you’re spending your time and resources wisely. You’ll also want to feel safe, heard and happy to open up.
You may be unsure about what you can expect from your coach or worried about what will they expect of you.
What Life Coaching Isn’t
I dislike goal-setting.
As a mindfulness coach for overthinkers, that’s a strange thing to say but let me explain.
When there’s a goal, there’s pressure to achieve it. This breeds a mentality that if we just push hard enough, we’ll get there. What if there’s something in the way? Something like environment, other people, a misaligned purpose, or a lack of the right skills?
Then we could be undermining the very wellbeing needed to achieve success. How far could this set you back?
You can’t just set a goal and expect to get there in a linear fashion.
The goal also has to mean something.
Let’s say your goal is to read 100 self-help books this year. It’s a quantifiable challenge and you’ll know when you’ve hit it but how much good will it do if your aim is to improve your confidence? Is there another way of going about this that won’t take up so many hours or cause that much eye strain?
Sometimes the goal gets in the way of what we really want to achieve in the long term.
What Life Coaching Is
One of the best ways to describe life coaching is to think of it as working your way out of a maze.
You’re stuck – and I think being stuck is a useful state because it makes you stop and think before you can get back on the right course. You may have been there for some time, desperate to find a way out and feeling despondent that every route you’ve tried so far hasn’t worked.
How helpful would it be if I stood outside and shouted directions at you? Or told you that you just had to push harder against the hedges? You’d end up bruised, even more despondent and disappointed in yourself.
But what if I joined you in the maze?
Together we could work out how to apply everything you’ve already read about building ladders, for example.
Then we may even discover that you already have the tools you need.
Finally, I’d be there to help and support so you’d have the confidence to climb up.
Wouldn’t that make more sense than charging at the boxwood?
What Life Coaching Looks Like
Life coaching is many things and there are as many approaches as there are practitioners but I believe the route out of our metaphorical maze relies on support and guidance that is:
Practical and down to earth.
Easy to understand (and relevant).
Focused on lasting change.
The kind of goal setting I can get behind is where we co-create these aims together. Even if you come out of one maze only to enter another, every time we build on the skills and knowledge you already have, along with the tools you’ve picked up.
So let’s put aside the I should have done this or that by now and start exploring what’s possible – even if we don’t know what that looks like yet.
How I Work
There is a place for goal-setting but solid relationship building has to come first. Then it’s possible to create a safe, non-judgemental space to do the work – a space where you’re free to pause or push back if something doesn’t feel right for you.
Our journey looks like this:
Normalise – you’re not alone and yes, there are others out there going through something similar.
Personalise – you bring me what you’re working on or struggling with and it’s my job to relate it to your overarching goal.
Actualise – it’s all well and good having a conversation but it doesn’t change anything. An epiphany without action is just a good idea. Together we build the vision, toolkit and resilience you need to succeed.
I hope this has helped but if you’re still apprehensive, I offer a free session just to see if we’re a good fit. Simply click here.
